The Roscoe Reynolds - Joey Stanley Caption Contest

I got it started so lets see who wins.
Winner will NOT Receive a Dinner with Ben Tribbett.
Winner will NOT be eaten by Joey Stanley.
Winner will NOT be treated like a lowly Roscoe constituent.
I am so mad about this whole thing I had to make myself smile...Help me out.
I will have a serious post about this but I need to calm down for now. More Later